Part Five: Breaking up without going broke

Okay, I know this whole series of articles is supposed to be about being smart about your finances as a couple so you can decrease the number of things that you two have to fight about. Therefore, with this knowledge you’d be able to avoid breaking up. But hey – smart spending can only do so much. Things fall apart and relationships can go bad at any time. If that’s where you find yourself right now, well, that’s a bummer; make sure you stock up on tissues and friends. If you want to use my personal break-up-cheer-up secret, take a visit to a local pet store of an animal shelter. You can’t play with puppies and kittens and still be sad. It’s just not the way of nature.

But I digress! I’m going to let the puppies and pals take care of your broken heart – I’m only going to tell you how to get out of this relationship with your bank account intact. Money might not be the first thing that you want to consider when dealing with the end of a romance, but especially if you were married or living together, relationships are as much a financial venture as they are anything else.

Here are some points to consider, and some wise moves to make when it comes to breaking up and not going broke in the process:

Know what’s yours

Sometimes breakups are messy and angry and there is no part of you that wants to be sweet and generous; you’re taking what’s yours. Screw the other person! They can fend for themselves! I’d say that more often, though, people have lingering feelings of care and concern for their former partners and want to make sure they’re taken care of. This can get tricky if one person was partially or entirely financially supporting the other person. If you were the person doing the supporting, it is entirely up to you how to handle that once you decide to leave the relationship. My smart money advice in this scenario would be to make an arrangement for your ex to have just what they absolutely need for no more than one month post-break-up. After that, cut them off. And make sure that any access they have to your funds (special permissions, bank cards, credit cards, checks, etc.) walks out the door when you do. Yes, it might seem cold but, honestly, dependency is so last century; hopefully your ex will learn to have a back-up plan that doesn’t include putting everything on your tab.

The same rules apply when it comes to actual stuff. If you’re the one moving out, take what’s yours if you want it. (One of the secret perks to being the moving out party in a breakup is the right to leave your ex stuck with all the junk you were meaning to get rid of anyway!) If the other person is moving out, be there when they do so. Keep an eye on your stuff. I’m not saying all of your exes will try to vindictively take off with your grandmother’s china, but sometimes confusions occur and you want to be there, just in case. This is of real financial relevance – stuff is part of your net worth. Hold onto it.

Get by with a little help from your friends

Maybe you were the one being supported and now you are unsure how to proceed. Even if you weren’t necessarily being supported, you might find yourself without a place to live, at least temporarily. This is one of the times when having investments in relationships with supportive, dependable friends is just as important as monetary savings. And if you want to keep those savings from getting depleted during this time of turmoil, dip into your friendship account; it’s an unwritten law that the best friend couch is all yours for about two weeks after having to leave your house due to a breakup. Take advantage of this. Don’t let it get you down or feel like less of an independent person – it’s just good sense to take a free place to stay (with a conveniently located shoulder to cry on) as opposed to laying down unnecessary cash to stay at a hotel.

What do you think?

That wraps up the Cash and Couples Series (at least for now)! What did you think? Do you agree with the things we’ve mentioned, did we miss anything? Share in the comments, below!