Part Two: Getting Your Sweetie to Start Saving

The first time I lived with a significant other, I was entirely unprepared for the number of things about him that A) I didn’t know, and B) bugged the hell out of me. It turns out that his ability to put the toilet seat back down was a pre-moving in ploy to win me over or something, but that totally went out the window once we shared a home. And, more importantly (and annoyingly), it turns out that the man didn’t have a savings account. Which never occurred to me since he never seemed to be low on money (hint: he was spending every dime he made) and, in general, seemed like a pretty responsible person. This whole situation was disconcerting; what if he lost is job? What if something unexpected happened and we needed to spend money on an emergency home repair?

When you move in with someone, or get married, you’re in such a blissful state of romantic suspension that few people stop to consider the fact that you when you choose to mix your life so closely with someone else’s, you could be asking for trouble. At least in some ways. No matter how long two people have been involved, if you don’t live together, chances are you still have your little secret bad habits. You know – the things you really don’t want your significant other to know about you. But it’s fine; the process of finding these things out can be hilarious and, if you go about things with patience and acceptance, you should both make it out alive.

Among the more troubling bad habits to discover your sweetie possesses are ones pertaining to money and spending – especially if you find them out after you’ve moved in together. By this point, at least to some degree, your finances are tied together. It’s now important to you that their bad saving habits (or total lack thereof!) be cured. So how to deal? Let’s discuss:

Problem: The Non-Saver

Situation: There exists a great number of people in the world who simply don’t think about savings. You definitely either know this type of person or you are this type of person. And most of the time, this kind of financial approach isn’t a conscious decision to be irresponsible; usually, people who don’t actively try to build up a savings just figure that they don’t make enough money to do so. Money comes in, money goes out. And then they wait for more money to come in. These are the paycheck-to-paycheck types. If you happen to be a saver and find yourself in a domestic situation with someone who decidedly is not, problems can definitely arise: perhaps your love is perpetually needing to borrow small amounts of cash from you until their paycheck arrives, or the bills don’t get paid on time, or you want to save for a vacation and they don’t know how to contribute, or some emergency unexpected expenditure comes up and the weight falls on you, the one with a savings cushion. All around, co-habitating with someone who doesn’t have any kind of savings plan can leave you both with a handful of “what if” stress.

Solution: Teach them! Assuming that you know how to develop a savings plan, share what you know, and how you go about things. Don’t get on your high horse – always approach these issues with sensitivity and a “hey, we’re in this together so let’s help each other be more awesome at life” mentality. Not a good teacher (or a good saver)? Here’s a simple beginning plan that can work for both of you: when money comes in, spend nothing until all the monthly bills and living expenses are paid for. After that, put everything that’s left into a savings account so you can’t easily access it by ATM or debit card. Then allot yourselves a spending allowance for the week – and spend no more. Eventually, living on that amount will seem natural to you. This can work whether you are budgeting that allowance just so you can break even at the end of the month without running out of money, or spending a small enough amount that you can accumulate savings. If all else fails, talk to your bank – they know your individual financial situations and can help both of you figure how the best way to maximize the money you’re making, and start saving.

Do you save as a couple?

I got lucky – I got the aforementioned boyfriend to start a savings account and budget his money better before his lack of a safety net compromised my financial safety. What about you? Have you been a relationship with someone who was equally financially unsound? How did you handle it? (And also, feel free to pass along any clever tips for saving on a budget!)